Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Happy birthday to Timothy Dalton, cinema's only James Bond!

Panels from Licence to Kill one-shot (1989); script by Richard Ashford; breakdowns by Mike Grell; finishes by Chuck Austen, Tom Yeates, and Stan Woch; colors by Sam Parsons, Sally Parsons, Mel Johnson, and Reuben Rude; letters by Wayne Truman;
and from Angel Love #1 (August 1986); script and pencils by Barbara Slate, inks by John William Lopez, colors by Bob LeRose, letters by Bill Yoshida

Sunday, March 19, 2017

365 Days of Defiance, Day 64: Keep on pushing

You won't succeed in resistance every day. But determination and hope tells you...maybe today you will.

Panels from Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman #33 (digital, May 2015), script by Josh Elder, pencils by Jamal Igle, inks by Juan Castro, colors by Wendy Broome, letters by Deron Bennett

365 Days of Defiance, Day 63: Three Simple Rules for Punching a Nazi

Daredevil battles Hitler! That's Bart Hill, the Golden Age Daredevil (aka Doubledare, Reddevil, and Death-Defying 'Devil), not Matt Murdock, the Silver Age and beyond Daredevil. I mean, not that Matt Murdock wouldn't punch Hitler, but I just can't see him doing it. (Neither can he! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!)

Panels from "Fighting Hitler and His Jungle Hordes" in Daredevil Comics #1 (Lev Gleason, July 1941), script and art by Charles Biro (?)

Daredevil is captured, but luckily he has friends. With an elephant. Even Deadpool hasn't tried that trick!

Then Hitler gets his mustache shot off.

So, if'n you're gonna punch a Nazi: 1) Do it hard. 2) Do it with an elephant. 3) Shoot his mustache off!

365 Days of Defiance, Day 62: Stand in the place where you live

from The Avengers (2012), written and directed by Joss Whedon


The 1978 2017 Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar: March Much-Ado

"March Is a Menagerie of Madcap Menaces!" in The Amazing Spider-Man Mighty Marvel Comics Calendar 1978 (1977);
pencils by Paul Gulacy, inks by Pablo Marcos
(Click picture to Superior Foes-size)

The 1978 2017 DC Calendar of Super-Spectacular Disasters: March Mice-ing

Hey, it's March 1! (C'mon, go along with me on this one for once.) Time to say "bunny, bunny!" Time for things to come in like lions or lambs, to eventually go out the complete reverse way. It's also time to check in once again with The 1978 2017 DC Calendar of Super-Spectacular Disasters! So strike a pose, there's nothing to it: March!

"March: Green Lantern/Green Away" in The 1978 Calendar of Super-Spectacular Disasters; artwork by Mike Grell
(Click picture to Giant Rat of Sumatra-size)

In this month's exciting contribution to the all-out big-deal disaster that threatens to tear apart the entire DC Universe we dare not call it a crisis!): Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen are invited to be the grand marshals (as opposed to my sister, the grand Marshall) of the NYC St. Patrick's Day Parade! Meanwhile at their homes, Green Lama and the Hulk sulk.

I bet they've been invited to marshal their way down Fifth Avenue by New York City Mayor Abe Beame, which is pretty odd, because he lives in the Marvel Universe!

Panels from Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man (1976 series) #1 (December 1976), script by Gerry Conway, breakdowns by Sal Buscema, figure finishes by Mike Esposito, background finishes and colors by Dave Hunt, letters by Joe Rosen

And that's why Abe Beame breathed a relieved sigh and wiped his forehead with relief when Ed "How'm I doin'?" Koch defeated him in the 1977 Mayoral Elections.

Anyway, back in the 1977 DC Universe, thar be rats here!

And I think we all know who's responsible for that, right?: Neal Adams!

Cover of Batman: Odyssey (2011 series) #7 (June 2012), pencils and inks by Neal Adams

Still, Green Arrow shouldn't be left to fight rats, especially when it's his ward Speedy who has all the rat-battlin' experience!:

Panel from The Brave and the Bold #102 (June-July 1972), script by Bob Haney, pencils by Neal Adams, inks by Dick Giordano

Anyways! As I did last month, I've taken all the "clues" to the secret identity of the ultimate criminal mastermind from the previous month's calendar, and tallied them up by blacking out the squares on the big Justice League computertron featured on the calendar's final spread. Here's what we've got so far:

Wait, if you squint a little bit all those dots look like a bull charging...hey! No, it was not me! And if you think that the JLA computer is kind of weak sauce, just remember it was like forty years ago! Everybody's computer looked like a Lite-Brite! Cases in point:

Panels from:
Top: Superman (1939 series) #405 (March 1985), script by Craig Boldman, pencils by Alex Saviuk, inks by Karl Kesel, colors by Gene D'Angelo, letters by Ben Oda
Middle: Iron Man (1968 series) #130 (January 1980); co-plot by David Michelinie; co-plot, script, pencils, and inks by Bob Layton; colors by Ben Sean; letters by Jim Novak
Bottom: Incredible Hulk Annual #6 (November 1977), plot by Len Wein, plot and script by David Anthony Kraft, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Frank Giacoia and Mike Esposito, colors by Janice Cohen, letters by Gaspar Saladino

Finally, there's one more clue you'll find within the day boxes of March's calendar itself. Let's check it out with all the keen attention of Batman, the intuitiveness of Elongated Man, and the butt-scratching of Detective Chimp:

Hmmm, an outfit suitable for St. Patrick's Day. Could it be...Jack O'Lantern?

Maybe it could be...Tommy Monaghan, Hitman? After all, he is the only good thing to come out of Bloodlines!

No wait, I know who it is, and he's the perfect suspect, because he would not be invented for another seventeen years: Kyle Rainer!

The perfect crime!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Ten of a Kind: The Oval Office

(More Ten of a Kind here.)

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Esquire: Man at His Swingingest.

Recently a national poll (or, juicing up some Google search terms, I dunno which it is) determined The Most Popular Superhero in Each State!

I was especially little-chuffed-bull to discover that my home state of New York picked Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man as their favorite son. I'd certainly argue that Petey is the quintessential New York superhero, and I'm proud to have him rep me in Superhero Congress. It's also a great time to re-run this classic Bully blog post from January 21, 2009 (back when I was only six) which also asserted the Web-Slinger belongs inside the Big Apple, aside from the part you literally don't want a spider inside your eatin' apple. Re-read and re-enjoy!

Esquire magazineHey, it's Clint Eastwood, the man so tough Chuck Norris calls him 'Dad,' on the cover of the January 2009 Esquire magazine. I'm allowed to read a few magazines made for grown-up folks, and Esquire is one of them, partly because of the incisive political and cultural reporting, partly for the style, cooking, automobile and fine living tips, but mostly for the incredible babes.

One of my favorite sections in Esquire is the monthly "What I've Learned" feature, where a celebrity passes on life lessons he or she thinks are important and helpful details useful for enjoying life, the people around you, and your world to its fullest. It's always fun to see what life lessons, say, Larry Hagman or Shelley Long have to pass onto a little stuffed bull. (Mostly: take care of your liver, and what was I thinking leaving network television's highest rated sitcom?!?, in that order.)

January's Esquire was therefore fifty times as fun to this little stuffed reader when I opened it to discover this is an all-"What I've Learned" feature issue. Not one, not two, not seventeen, but fifty people in entertainment, sports, politics, literature, and everyday life were spotlighted, every man and woman Jack and Jackie of 'em contributing a big-ass overflowing cornucopia of home-spun wisdom that not only do they take, they can dish out. Why fifty? Because each contributor represents a different state in the USA, so it's like a all-country road-trip with fifty great people riding shotgun. (And you can read it sitting on the toilet.) California provides cover boy Clint Eastwood, Nevada Wayne Newton, North Carolina Charlie Daniels, Indiana Larry Bird, Iowa Cloris Leachman, Alaska Sarah Palin a polar bear hopped up on fermented salmon.

Hey, let's see who's repping my favorite state, the place I live, the Empire State, the state that is so great they hired Stan Lee to write their state motto: New York. Which inspirational person will be representing New York, I wonder?:

Esquire magazine

Wha... Huh... Uh... Ummmm... Wha... Noooooooo.. No, Esquire magazine. Paris Hilton is not allowed to be the public face of lessons learned from New York. I simply will not let this happen. This will not stand! Especially with life lessons like
  • Having a nightclub in your house really helps for a party, because then you don't need to go out.
  • Things may seem to naturally come my way. But I work hard for them too. I have good karma.
  • I put pheromones in a lot of my fragrances, and that attracts people to you. My new fragrance is called Fairy Dust. I'm dressed kind of like Tinkerbell.
No! Nein! Non! Nyet!

Okay, Bully, deep breath. If there's one thing Mama Bull taught you...a "what I've learned" of my own...is that bulls don't just sit back and lament mishaps when they can be fixed. A bull is an animal of decision and action. And tho' I may be a very little stuffed bull, I'm handy with a scanner, and the internet, and Adobe Photoshop Elements for Bulls 5.0. All I had to do was scratch my little fluff-filled head and come up with the name of a person synonymous with New York, whose very existence makes New York a better, happier, safer and funner place every single day of the year. After I came up with that person, the rest was easy as pie.

So pick up your copies of Esquire Volume 151, Number 1, tear out pages 80 and 81, crumple them in a ball and toss them out the window or at those pesky squirrels in your back yard, and replace them carefully with this new improved version of a New York celebrity telling us what he's learned that I made up for you:

Esquire magazine
(Click picture to Big Apple-size)

There we go. Much improved. Now, let's see who's on the next page. Ah, Florida, who will you...JEB BUSH?!? NOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, don't panic, folks. I've got this thing under control.

Friday, March 03, 2017

Today in Comics History: Western Union stock market prices continue to rise

Panel from Back to the Future #10 (July 2016); story by John Barber and Bob Gale; script by John Barber; pencils by Marcelo Ferreira andÁthila Fabbio; inks by Marcelo Ferreira, Áthila Fabbio and Toni Doya; colors by Jose Luis Rio and Diego Rodriguez, letters by Shawn Lee

Today in Comics History: Chris gets irony for his birthday

Panels from The Draft one-shot (July 1988), script by Mark Gruenwald and Fabian Nicieza; pencils by Herb Trimpe; inks by (inhale) Kyle Baker, Mike Gustovich, Klaus Janson, Lee Weeks, and Keith Williams (exhale); colors by Michael Higgins; letters by Jim Novak

Today in Comics History: Oedipal scene re-rerun

Panel from Back to the Future #6 (March 2016), story by John Barber and Bob Gale, script by John Barber, pencils by Marcelo Ferreira, inks by Marcelo Ferreira and Áthila Fabbio, colors by Diego Rodriguez, letters by Shawn Lee

Today in Comics History: Battleship moves to space E-5

Panel from Jenny Sparks: The Secret History of the Authority #3 (October 2000), script by Mark Millar, pencils by John McCrea, inks by James Hodgkins, colors by Ian Hannin, letters by Bill O'Neil